Deciding to come clean to yourself about your bad habits is
not easy. It actually sucks. Admitting that you somehow got off track and are
not as healthy as you think you are is a hard thing to do. It takes courage,
honesty, and vulnerability to do this. I still remember the day I admitted to
myself that I had let myself go and was not living a healthy lifestyle. I was a
bridesmaid in one of my best friend’s wedding. So naturally she tagged me in
tons of photos from her big day. Looking at those photos were painful. I had
been in denial about my weight gain, only posting photos where I looked smaller
than I was, rarely looking in the mirror, and not admitting to myself that I
had packed on more than a few pounds over the years. Not getting to filter
these facebook pictures and really looking at them prompted me to take a step
back and really re-assess my lifestyle.
So I turned on the lights, stripped to my undies, stood in
front of a full length mirror, and really looked at myself. It was brutal. It
was painful. It was emotional. It sucked. I felt like crap. I cried. But it was
pivotal to the start of a new beginning for me. I admitted to myself that it
was no one else’s fault but my own that I had gained 50 lbs; my decisions lead
me to where I was, and in that moment I decided my future decisions would lead
me where I wanted to go.
How did I take back my life? I started walking. I felt embarrassed at
first, but continued to remind myself that I was doing something to better
myself and it does not matter what others think. So I kept walking. Eventually I
progressed to “wogging” (walk/jogging). Then I’d fall off the exercise train
for a few weeks and have to get back on track and start all over. So I’d try
another technique by adding motivational quotes and affirmations to my routine
and start again. Slowly my walking would once again progress to wogging which eventually
turned into jogging. Staying Motivated.
After I was in a fairly good routine, to stay motivated, I reserved
some of my mindless internet browsing time to research running pages,
motivational weight loss pages, and healthy eating tips. I educated myself on
calories in versus calories out. You hear it all the time, that in order to
lose one pound you need to create a deficit of 3500 calories from your diet. I started
to really understand the consequences of bingeing on 7 cookies in one sitting. I
was honest with myself about my eating habits by tracking them and I started
attempting to be accountable to myself. Which again was tough on the ego. Often we think we are being accountable to
ourselves, but we actually are not and have a tendency to sugar coat it to make
ourselves feel better. I know I would sooth my ego by not being completely
honest with myself…. I only had 3 cookies, it’s not soo bad…. No, I actually
had 4 cookies, 3 pieces of cheese, 2 pickles, 12 crackers, half a chocolate bar and two glasses of wine (and
yes I have eaten like this, please don’t judge me.) Being honest about it, and
understanding the mass amount of calories I was consuming helped me put into
perspective why my weight was not budging. Again this sucked.
 |
| before 2010 after 2014 |
Long story short, I slowly lost the 50 lbs and I reiterate I
did it slowly. I refused to fall into the dieting propaganda and promised myself
I was going to do it healthy, not through sickness or fad diets. And guess
what, I did. It took time, but that time passes anyways and the slow transition
helped me to maintain it. I still struggle some days, but I keep the bigger
picture in mind. I know that small consistent changes are the key to success. I
try not to beat myself up when I have a binge and I just get back on track the
next day. Signing up for a half marathon
like Scotiabank Half Marathon helps to keep me accountable to my goals and
progress. I highly recommend taking up
running if you are looking to maintain a healthier lifestyle! J
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